In this post I elaborated on my deep dislike of the song “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” I actually get a twitch as the Christmas season approaches knowing that Diamondqueen will be playing this song endlessly in the van and the Hooligans will sing it at me at full blast, over and over. Last year the angst deepened when we discovered a Hallmark ornament of a hippo that played a snatch of that awful ditty at a touch of a button. The kids had great fun thrusting that ornament in my face every time I walked into the house. I got a bit of a reprieve when J.Hooligan somehow misplaced the ornament. It was missing in action for the last week or so of the holiday season, but it turned up safely when Diamondqueen was taking down the tree.
Tonight I went along with Diamondqueen and S.Hooligan to Target, where we explored all the ornaments and trims for the 2009 season. I guess I’ve become hypersensitive to hippos and Christmas, because one ornament jumped out at me immediately: the figure of a female hippo with a come-hither look, her ample hide spilling over the sides of a string bikini. Despite my hippophobia, I grabbed the ornament and ran to Diamondqueen, laughing. Of course she bought it! (There was a less flamboyant ornament of a hippo skiiing, but that one didn’t appeal to her.)
We figured J.Hooligan would be quite amused by this latest acquisition; but when I pulled the ornament out of the bag, he lurched backward and said, “I wasn’t expecting that!” J. then went on to remind us that the hippo in the song is a BOY, while the ornament is obviously female. “Unless…” Diamondqueen began.
That set both of them off singing “The Lumberjack Song” from Monty Python. The idea of a transvestite hippo amused them so much that no one remembered to sing “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,” which suited me just fine. If I thought the Christmas morning hippo would appear dressed in a red bikini and high heels, I might get more of a chuckle out of that blasted song.